Lace in Light - Empowerment

It was more than an honor to be asked to romp around the river scantily clad for Jada and David Parrish of J&D Photo LLC for a (rare) personal project of theirs.  Of late, they have been highlighting the accomplishments of others on a blog, Lace in Light, which they built specifically for this purpose and capturing special moments for eternity in the form of weddings, maternity shoots, and senior portraits, etc.. To be asked to model for this vision sent me over the moon with joy. 

These two have put a level of hard work, love, and dedication into launching and nurturing their business that is rarely seen. As I begin growing my business in a more real way, I can personally attest to the stick-to-it-ness that Jada & David have. To witness how J&D Photo LLC has developed from the very beginning with respectful admiration, I'm truly happy for them that they are realizing the fruits of their labor.

I've delved into this topic before but feel it's important enough to revisit on a regular basis. I stepped in front of J&D's lens a few years back when I was still experiencing a significant amount of negative body image. 

Before I go any further, I know this is a sensitive topic, and let me make my opinion very clear: it is not for us as individuals to decide how others should feel. "Fat," "skinny," tall, short, athletic, etc., everyone's feelings are valid. Women of all shapes and sizes talk to themselves negatively on a regular basis, looking in the mirror daily and judging themselves, feeling shame and disappointment instead of joy when they sit down to eat a cupcake. That said, approach every person with loving kindness because you simply have no idea what demons they are battling. 

Now back to this negative body image I had of myself - this came from a tough period. I had completely lost track of who I was as a person, my body changed in more ways than one, and my mental state was on the upswing from a dark, depressed period. As a relatively self-assured and confident young woman, these uncertain years rattled me. Feeling vulnerable but also empowered, I decided to step in front of the J&D Photo camera. In lingerie. Yes, half naked, but in a classy sort of way of course. 

With the support of my incredible sister-in-law //who is a hair and makeup ninja//,  champagne provided by Jada, and the expert posing guidance //it takes a village, guys..// we made it through. I cannot overstate how glad I am that I shared this step with such a supportive group of people. If you've ever had to go through the horror of withholding food from yourself, or have sunken into a state of depression - if you've ever thought you were less than worthy of your own love, respect, appreciation, compliments - if you have ever felt like you have had to fight to come back to who you are as a person, then you know. It eventually gets easier, but every once in a blue moon, even years down the road and strides towards health and happiness later, those demons can still try to slink their way back into your bed. 

You are beautiful. And only you can make yourself feel the lesser. Every moment leading up to the one we are in matters. However, each moment is fleeting and any second spent telling yourself that you are less than exceptional is one wasted. I am thankful for that first boudoir, just as I am grateful for this one. These pictures are a reminder that while thoughts of doubt and self deprecation may be unavoidable at times //demons please be gone already//, I am beautiful nonetheless-inside and out. You are beautiful. And you are worthy of your own love. However you need to remind yourself of that on occasion, be sure to do it.

If boudoir sounds like the way, check out our latest captures here, and book a session with Jada &David. You will not be disappointed, and you might find yourself empowered to take another step towards health and healing: Flower Crown River Shoot

Lingerie: Kestle Boudoir

Florals: The Green Flamingo

The Good, the Bad, the Raw, and the Beauty

1). We must to be willing to let go of our 'big 'plans. Regardless of how large or small they may be, there is grace to be found in adapting, turning up the corners of your mouth and moving with the tides of change.

2). Find time once a day to stop what you're doing, look up at the sky, let the wind blow through your hair, the sunbeams warm your face. Don't have time? Make time. Your only certainty is right now.

3). Enjoy the journey. Don't wish it away. Even when you feel down in the dumps, done, fed up - most often the highest highs directly follow the lowest lows. Chin up, heart up, breathe in more deeply, let go.

4). Emotions can leave you feeling raw. Find the beauty in that. That you are able to feel so much - cover the entire spectrum of emotions in as short as one day - love, cry, feel, smile, laugh, hug, and use these as a reminder that you are alive. Be present as you experience the waves crashing in and around you. Love. Just love. It always comes back to love. 

5). Where there is love, there is no question.

And finally;

How to Make Your Soul Blossom

Home.

Have you ever thought about what this actually means? Really, what does home actually mean to you? For some it's four walls - AC, Heating, electricity, somewhere to rest your head, and all the amenities that help us feel comfortable. To others it might mean the space they create for themselves that incorporates nature into their lives - a dip in the ocean, a sunrise or sunset, a ride on the perfect wave after work, a walk in the woods, or the way a breeze brushes through your hair.

To most, home is the place where warmth, certainty, and love resides. 

home

hōm/

adjective

1. 1.

   of or relating to the place where one lives.

Sometimes it takes quite a while to establish the feeling of home. And I'm not sure home has anything to do with a physical location to be quite honest. Home is a place in our hearts, and sure that can be manifested in physical form but we create it and ease into it in our own way and in our own time. We live in one place (or move around) during our childhood either not thinking much about this concept or with a certainty that home is wherever our street address is. Mostly, that is all we know. Then we go off into the world moving from one place to another, exploring, growing, changing, falling in love, falling out of love, trusting, having our hearts broken, and learning how to trust again. We go to college or we leave high school and start a business. We meet many new people, we stay in touch with some old, we follow our dreams, we settle into careers and establish a new street address we call home.

But it isn't really home right away, is it? Not usually..we have to fill it with love and warmth. We need to fill it with time, people, meals, fond memories. 

And the people. 

The people are crucial. 

Because whether you consider home to be a box with four walls, the heart of the person you love most, your pet, your community, the color of the sky as the sun bids us goodnight..the people you are surrounded by in all of these places make the difference. The ones who take time to cook you homemade soup when you're sick, or leave fresh green juice on your doorstep for an immune system boost. The people who write hearts on your cup every time you go get a coffee. The people who text just to say they love you in the middle of the day. The amount of strangers who become friends, and the value they add to your life. This is home. This is where love resides. Let us give thanks for the people who make the physical space a home. They make us happy. They are the charming gardeners who make our should blossom. 

Confessions of an imperfect yogi

Life is a constant journey full of twisting paths, lanes, doors to be opened and routes to follow. Sometimes I imagine I am walking (maybe even dancing or skipping) through the woods. I come upon a fork in the road, look left - look right, they both appear to be the same. I choose which direction to go, wander in a certain direction and suddenly myself in a clearing. This clearing feels like home - I look up and I can see the bright blue sky, birds are singing, there is a calm breeze, the sun is warm on my face. I feel a lightness - ease - an effortless feeling leaving me certain I am in the right place. 

Intuition can take you on a path that lights your soul on fire. 

Sometimes I take a wrong turn and wander in a direction that may not serve me well in mind, body, and spirit. Inevitably, after the fact, we think back and remember a funny feeling in our stomach, feelings of doubt or unhappiness prior to going that way or making that decision - taking that turn teaches us to be more careful about our decisions - to follow our hearts and to follow our gut feeling of what is right for us - to appreciate the times a little more where we felt lighter as though a weight was lifted from our shoulders. This weekend I felt safe, lifted up, challenged, loved, and fully embraced as the person I am and these emotions solidify the place in me that wants to continue down whatever path that will help me further grow and expand.

Now - for a confession: I acknowledge the truth that I do not allow myself to stay in a place of exuberance for making it to that clearing where the sun is shining, the sky is bright and clear and birds are singing. I am happy there for a moment and then I start wondering how I can get to the next clearing - the frustration towards limitations come into play (financial, time constraints, geographic location, etc.) and I lose sight of the fact that where I am is exactly where I need to be. 

So I say to myself and to you - life (my continued education in yoga as well as growth as a teacher) is a marathon, not a sprint. There is too much beauty in the present moment to dwell on what will or will not be. There is no sense in tossing aside your current happiness in order to get the the next more quickly. Be grateful in this moment and sustain that joy as long as possible. Be grateful you made the right turn that brought you to your current place at all. Let intuition help guide you to the next clearing where friends old and new are there to greet you - where you feel delight, warmth, and contentment.

Today I am grateful for the twists and turns in life and that path that brought me to my first AcroYoga Elemental Immersion this month. Prerequisites, time, money, and responsibilities may come before an AcroYoga teacher training, but when frustration surfaces because it just isn't happening quickly enough, (nothing ever seems to happen quickly enough in our society) I will remind myself that there is no rush. Slow down. Be patient. You will get there. I am thankful today for lifelong best friends I made in just fifteen hours and for a community that lifts its members up through the power of clear communication, loving giving, and open receiving. That is the kind of community I want to be apart of and I'm appreciative for everything along the way that helped me find it.

You, above all else, deserve your love and admiration

When was the last time you expressed gratitude and admiration for simply being who you are? Or the last time you reminded yourself that your are your top priority? You come first.

One must love themselves wholly and fully before they can truly give to or receive love from others. As February 14th approaches, bring your awareness to yourself before showering others with affection and gifts or doubting yourself for not sharing your place in the world yet with another. I offer an invitation to turn your love inward today, tomorrow, all the days. It may seem awkward or uncomfortable at first, but it is essential to your well-being. 

We happen to express our love to others far more than we express it to ourselves, what a travesty.

You are one of a kind.

So for just a moment -

Find a comfortable seated position or lie down. Notice where your body connects with the Earth. Feel the energy of life spread up through those points of contact, rooting you firmly and purposefully into the ground. Breathe cleansing and full breaths deeply into your chest and your heart, the energy center of self development and unconditional love. Scan the body and send fresh oxygen and rejuvenating energy throughout and to any points of tension you meet. Relax the face, the space between your eyebrows, the jaw, remove the tongue from the roof of your mouth. Place one hand over your heart and one over your belly. Notice the rise and fall of your body. Feel your chest soften and expand. You are here. You are alive. Repeat to yourself (internally or aloud), "I am abundantly loved. I allow myself to give and receive love freely. I am nourished by the power of love. I love you just as you are." Repeat as many times as is necessary until your heart feels full and replenished with self-respect and appreciation. As you begin to find movement, acknowledge the strength and gratitude that these simple words carry and feel them resonate through your body. Carry them with you through the remainder of the day, and allow the lightness of receiving your own love radiate outwards.

Remember to shower yourself with nourishment, renewal, and healing regularly so your love translates fully and authentically to others when you choose to share it. You, above all else, deserve your own love. 

Find contentment and joy in who you are.

You have value. 

You hold an important place in this world. 

You are loved. 

'lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu'

May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that freedom and happiness for all.

Mornings 'yet to be'employed

Mornings, glorious mornings. 

Don't get me wrong, I do not proclaim that I am a morning person (many sources can confirm) - I must assert however, that I adore the quiet and stillness that often accompanies the start of the day - particularly on the weekends, or at the beach, or when you are yet to be employed (I am not an unemployed graduate, but rather a yet to be employed post grad and the distinction is rather important) - I have come to cherish the silence and calm no matter how brief, and these days brevity is determined by my desire.

 Few things make a girl more cheerful than waking up to the warmth of home and a heavenly embrace, sunbeams streaming through the window, birds serenading me while Bon Iver purrs throughout the house, hot coffee in hand, dog at my feet - generally taking my sweet time to soak it all in - before going about my day. No not each morning begins this way, but every second of this sequence is magical and glorious and uplifting and provides a clarity of mind akin to that of a deep meditation, a long cry, or watching the sunrise or sunset paint the sky in silence. How could anyone have anything less than a marvelous day when it begins in such a manner. 

No, I may not have a job yet (note that I have put intention to be hired out into the universe, and I have decided quite simply to reject negativity). But while I wait for someone to inevitably realize upon reading my resume that I'm just what they are looking for - I welcome you, mornings, with open arms - a loving embrace of gratitude. I appreciate you. I honor your sunbeams and your winged soloists and choirs. I salute you in whatever form you present yourself to me each day. You begin again and again, sun rising without fail - even through rain - how graceful. Thank you for the tranquility you have supplied me of late. The light in me shines more brightly because of your daybreak. 

     

I'm thinking about you. Yes you. I'm sending you love. I'm wishing YOU love, happiness and peace of mind. You are bright and beautiful and you deserve all of the good. All of it. 

The sunrise this morning, it was just for you. 
Let that energy and lightness of a fresh start - the brand new day - fill you, and let sunbeams radiate through your eyes and smile.
Sending love wherever needed.

This Hasn't Happened in a While

But seriously. And what will that be?

In the midst of rapid change - graduation from William and Mary (there was a time I thought this might never come), a move to North Carolina, free time for lack of employment or schoolwork, sending out my resume, leaving the first place that opened its arms to me as a new yoga teacher. It seems as though I have had infinite amounts of free time and yet, why does it feel like I haven't processed any of it? Activities I enjoy (writing, etc.) have taken a backseat to - what exactly? Time to reign it in.

For the last seven years of my life, I have been a student. Much has happened, but generally speaking my status as a student has been a constant with a brief interlude. Maybe it took me so long to figure out how to do it right, finishing my final semester with almost straight A's (huzzah!). While I'm thrilled to be finished, it feels terribly unfair that I finally figured it out and now it is just over. There is so much good in the world and in my life, and yet I suddenly can't help but feel that I am floundering. Two such strong and contrasting emotions - how do you find peace when change, fear, confidence, uncertainty, joy, sadness, apprehension, faith..are all happening at once. 

They are all fighting for the win but they just keep smacking into one another causing chaos and confusion.

What helps you adapt? Where do you turn when there is so much uncertainty? They say an idle mind is the devil's workshop. In the past this has proven true -with no responsibility it is terribly effortless to get sucked into a favorite television show and sit around all day, let your yoga practice go by the wayside, let fear get in the way of putting yourself out there - it becomes so natural to get caught in a vicious cycle of laziness and lack of effort or activity.

So you fill your time. You must not allow yourself to sit and do nothing. You must take a step towards what is next - whatever that may be? Any step at all.

You thank your lucky stars for the other constants that remain. 

Family.

Love.

Good health.

Food to put on the table.

A warm bed to sleep in.

A roof over your head.

Love (worth mentioning twice).

Amidst internal chaos, struggle to find where you should go next, what you should do, what path to take - these are consistent and hold true - and though it is easy to forget you must remind yourself how fortunate you are to have them.

 Someone recently asked me - If money was of no concern? What would you do? 

Could it be that simple? Can it really be that simple? 

But really - What do you think?

Can two aspects of ones personality - love of comforts, shopping, pretty things (that money is needed for) and love of yoga, simplicity, local businesses - exist and come to peace with one another? 

What if guilt surfaces when one or the other starts to take the lead?

So today I take time to remind myself and you, my dear friend - slow down and take a deep breath. 

Come what may - love it. 

Try to accept it with love and a smile - it could be worse. 

You are entirely up to you - don't let a little chaos and confusion get in the way of that.

Sending love wherever needed.