Work with the present moment

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

How my yoga practice has developed Part II:

So I made it through my first hot yoga class, and although it didn't stick with me right away I did take something from it. I went home and bought a few yoga and pilates videos off of amazon.com. Now, I'm not trying to say that there isn't a time and place for 'at-home yoga videos' but that didn't work for me either. 

There is something to be said in the beginning of your yoga practice for actually going to a studio, and the energy produced by a group of people with a common purpose. By leaving your home and going to a designated place that provides that energy for you, yet another roadblock towards relaxation, connection, and looking inward is removed. In the little sanctuary that is a yoga studio, you can walk into a room and disengage from technology, anger, fear, worry, and stress. 

You can inhale and draw new energy into your body, the exhale provides a more fulfilling release of toxins that build up from the unnecessary aggravation caused by worry, fear and stress (a.k.a. life).

Now it is very true and I started to realize at a very difficult time that: In order to continue growing as a person, you have to be a little bit selfish.

Even though I had a hard time doing yoga in my room (with my computer right behind me, my cell phone on silent but still vibrating, and the presence of all my belongings to remind me of heavy thoughts hanging over my head), I did stick with the pilates. It was through at-home pilates videos that I began to feel connected with my body once again. A back injury, weight gain, and an anxiety towards eating led to a complete lack of caring for myself mentally and physically. I had stopped growing as a person because I did not feel I was worth it.

Now I will tell you: You are WORTH it. You are ALWAYS worth it. It does not matter where you are in your life, or what you are going through. It is vitally important that you understand you deserve it. All of the good, the love, the happiness can be yours if you begin to understand that you are worth it. 

I have been at a place where I have felt constantly vulnerable, sad, lonely, and thought the entire world was judging me. Going through a hard time, I began to come to the realization that I was in control of my life. I know now that none of the negative matters and the most important persons opinion of you is your own. If someone feels they need to release their anger and frustration onto you, it is because of something that is going on with them and has very little to do with you. 

Core engagement is essential in a yoga practice, and is an important step towards a connection with the rest of your body and your body alone. We are all unique and beautiful. Finding a connection to my core led to a deeper understanding of myself. This was the first step towards realizing that I needed to begin caring for myself. 

Take hold of your life. 
Find a strong connection with your body. 
Live through love, because it just may change you. 
Be present, because whatever you are feeling or experiencing in this very moment matters.
And don't forget to focus on your breath.

Beauty. Everywhere.

This. 

Wow, right?

Doesn't natural beauty sometimes amaze and inspire you? Tonight I took the deepest breaths that have entered my body in quite a while. I could feel the oxygen pass through my nose, chest rise, belly rise, lungs full. As I exhaled it's almost as though a tightness released and in this moment, this beautiful place in time, my body relaxed fully and completely. It brought about a strong emotional response; Love is so simple and fills space when you allow it to. By breathing and making space we invite joy, love, and change to enter. Fill the space with love. Love is contagious and overwhelming.These sunsets are a glowing gift.

I sat silently alone tonight watching the sun slip below the horizon. Do you allow yourself moments to clear your mind fully? Sometimes these moments of clarity come at unexpected times. I often find mine when surrounded by fresh air, natural beauty and water. Go for walks, stop and smell the roses, allow yourself to slow body and mind. If you don't stop on occasion, you may miss the most beautiful sunsets or inspiring moments.

Don't forget to breathe.

Breathe in new energy, then love it all out.

How a yoga practice develops, evolves, and changes with your life is a beautiful thing

How my yoga practice has developed: 

PART I

So for a little background-

I took my first hot yoga class with my best friend Megan Berke at Body Balance Studio in Williamsburg, Virginia in the midst of a very difficult time in my life. I had recently disengaged from swimming, the sport I have practiced and competed in my entire life. Swimming helped define who I was as a person. Losing this important aspect of my life led me to feeling disconnected from myself, my surroundings, and all people around me. I was getting ready to drop out of college, feeling that I had no direction and no purpose. Needless to say, I was a hot mess. I had no confidence, trouble with eating, insomnia, and felt strong pangs of anxiety merely leaving my room each day.

In the first class I remember thinking;

 'I'm standing here sweating my ass off, and I keep falling over. What am I supposed to be getting out of this? Everyone must know I've never done this before. Why isn't that girl sweating? How is she so flexible? Megan looks so relaxed. Why are all these mirrors in here? I look awful. WHY do I keep falling over!?'

Now..I wonder why I kept falling over..

Every single part of me was fighting the practice and the environment I was in. I was far to interested in everything that was going on around me, refusing to look inward at the real problems at hand..needless to say, I didn't go back to yoga for a while. I wasn't ready. I may not have lit the fire that day, but I like to think I at least took a match out of the box. I wasn't ready for what yoga could have done for me and my life. It would have been too hard to try to confront the vulnerability I was feeling in all aspects of my life. It would have been too hard to admit to myself that I was moving in a dangerous direction. So I continued to lie to myself and others, sweeping my problems under the rug, then turning around and beating myself up about them.

Have you ever felt completely helpless? What helped you reconnect and find purpose?

None of these 5 things got through to me in my first class..but then again I am still working on some of them. I held onto mistakes I made for a while, but no more. Let go of things that no longer serve you. You cannot believe the weight that is lifted from your shoulders when you cease to carry unnecessary burdens. Lightness follows and there is a new crispness with each breath that passes your lips. Sometimes it is easier said than done. Return to your breath. There is so much love everywhere.

Such wonderful things surround you

Let me ask you one question:

Does anyone else out there NEED to have a planner? 

Between to-do lists, grocery lists, obligations, plans, assignments, work, and play, how can one person keep track of everything they need to do? I'm not saying technology isn't wonderful, but you can call me old-fashioned because in order to remember everything I need to do, I have to physically write it down..in little blocked off areas..for each specific day.

'When it rains, it pours', and oh boy is that saying the truth. It's almost as if professors conspire to have their biggest assignments all due on the same day. But I can feel my blood pressure lower after I have organized everything on paper. My brain takes a deep breath and sighs it out heavily and I can reset and decompress.

Meanwhile:

I've been exploring this a lot lately being a 24 year-old, whose best friends have all graduated, in my final semester at William and Mary. How do you find the happy middle ground between living in the moment and an overwhelming excitement for events to come in the near and distant future?

 There are many interesting articles outlining the differences between extroverts, introverts, and ambiverts. I didn't know an ambivert was a thing. Example:

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/steps-authentic-happiness-positive-psychology/2013/sep/14/introvert-or-extrovert-which-better-answer-ambiver/

Most people are ambiverts, obviously, because everyone needs quality alone time as well as the energy of others. I've recently had the epiphany that while I lie somewhere in the middle, I lean towards being (drum roll...) an extrovert! (you must be shocked, I know). 'Extroverts often draw energy from others', and this is often the case for me. 

But to wrap all of this up:

1.) It's impossible to be alone and quiet your mind if you have fifteen to-do lists lined with responsibilities in the back of your mind- I have learned to handle this by writing everything down, and find comfort and ease in the fact that I can open a planner and remind myself of what comes next.

2.) Too much alone time can drive an extrovert crazy, while introverts often get anxious surrounded by large groups of people for an extended period of time. It is within your power to recognize WHO you are and what is best for YOU. Give yourself what you need. Don't hesitate, be scared or put it off. Being empowered is caring for yourself as much as you care for others. It isn't selfish, it's practical.

3.) Meditation: Try it, you'll like it. Any person, no matter where they are in their journey of life, can do it. Stress often results in tension in your body and shallow breathing. Bringing focus to your breath is another step towards allowing yourself to empty your mind and just be. When you empty your mind, you allow yourself to truly be alone. You can free yourself from everything. What a beautiful thing, to feel completely free.

Remember:

It's easy to forget when we get caught up in our hectic lives. Stop and smell the roses.

Breathe

Love yourself

Love others

There is beauty everywhere

'Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death'

So I taught my very first hot yoga class in a studio just a few short weeks ago..and I was terrified. 

It is so important to remind ourselves that sometimes the things we are most afraid of are the most worthwhile. So I got there and the speakers weren't compatible with my phone. Uh oh, no music? I remembered what my very favorite muse of a teacher told us during teacher training. "Try not to rely on one way of doing". So I walked into the room expecting one thing and SMASH go my expectations and plan. Touche Universe, touche. I walked into the room, little cheat sheet in hand and I worked my way through an hour of hot yoga with fumbles, falls, and seemingly embarrassing moments. I was hoping to walk out feeling extremely fulfilled and rewarded but instead I was worried that my students left without finding their moment of peace and relaxation on their mat. I let myself over analyze every word for a short amount of time after class then moved on to planning how to make the next class better. A few days and a 90 minute hot yoga class (filled with amazing energy and beautiful souls) later and I felt like this:

Talk about an enriching and gratifying experience. I was so wrapped up in nerves and over excitement in the first class that I didn't allow myself to be authentic. With a small note card to glance at when I needed it, the 90 minute class flew by. I didn't have time to fit in everything I wanted to. Sure I tripped up a few times, but I felt that I provided a safe and encouraging environment for people to connect with their breath and body. To influence people in a positive way is the ultimate satisfaction and accomplishment, and equally as worthwhile as if I did a physical 90 minute practice myself. 

The energy in the classroom from one practice to another varies greatly. Although I have many people I see regularly on Wednesday or Sunday now, it is amazing to see where they are in their bodies at any given moment. Watching a class full of yogis is a beautiful thing. Cuing an adjustment and seeing an individual move into proper alignment makes my heart smile and gives me an extra pep in my step. Since the first class my confidence has grown two-fold. I'm exhilarated to see where this journey will take me, and feel alive in the classroom, whether I am practicing or teaching. Finding a voice can be difficult at times but if you don't dive into the unknown you will close yourself off to experiences that may help you become the person you are meant to be.

Give fear a swift kick in the ass

Don't doubt yourself

Surround yourself with people who love and support you

Always remember to return to your breath

And we have liftoff

On beautiful days such as those we have had this week, I'm overwhelmed with happiness and love. Do you ever get the feeling that you want to just hug people at random? If not..here's a few simple steps: 

1.) Go outside 

2.) Look around at all the beauty nature holds (it's easier this time of year as opposed to winter, ew..short days, cold fingers and toes and less color)

3.) Take a deep fulfilling breath and close your eyes 

Warning: you may all of a sudden feel inspired to exercise, save the world, call every person that is important to you and tell them how much you love them, etc..

Side note: Winter isn't all that bad. Just like people, nature needs time for rest and renewal.

Now go hug someone and spread the love.