What are we capable of?

How do you know unless you challenge yourself?

How can you challenge yourself if you don't believe in yourself?

How do you begin to establish a firm and unwavering confidence in the person you are and what you are capable of?

How can you open your heart to life, love, and others if you have no faith in yourself?

Begin somewhere. Self talk and visualization. Tell yourself. Love. Then surround yourself with others who believe it too.

For example:

Do this for a week:

I am amazing. I can do anything. I will be positive. My individuality is beautiful. I will succeed. I can do ANYTHING I set my mind to. 

I am here to tell you that you can do anything you set your mind to. 

The more times you tell yourself, the more it will become second nature, and then it will spread like wildfire to others.

Yesterday, October 27th, myself and three (or seven if you count cousins of the family I am marrying into) other family members ran in the Marine Corps Marathon. As I write this I can't help but be overwhelmed with how awesome my entire immediate and extended family are. My brother has done four Ironman competitions and I have all the faith in the world he will qualify for the Kona World Championships in the next one he races. My sister has more strength in determination than any other person I have met in my life. My fiance is calm in the midst of a storm, tackling anything with steadiness and certainty. 

My sister Jackie, while I love her dearly and with my whole heart, was sorely under prepared to run a marathon. Did this matter? Absolutely not. There was little thought put into pre-race food or sustenance during the race for day of, and she clocked minimal miles in the months leading up to it. Was this a problem? Absolutely not. She decided she was going to run the marathon yesterday, beat the bridge, and finish and there wasn't a single doubt in my mind that it wouldn't happen. "It's 85% mental," she says. So she ran, beat the bridge and finished, and my heart swelled with pride as she ran up the final hill. 

"If you are losing faith in humanity, go out and watch a marathon" - Kathrine Switzer

No truer words. 

Both racing and spectating provide renewal and excitement about the good that can be spread through love, support, determination, and confidence in oneself.. Do I love running 26.2 miles? No. No I do not. But there is no other feeling like realizing that you are capable of more than you know. 

I traveled to Idaho and watched my brother Danny swim 2.4 miles, transition into a 112 mile bike then finish with a marathon. We ate, celebrated a job well done, and returned to the finish line to watch the last of the competitors make their way across the finish line. I have never in my life been so moved. The people who cross the finish line at midnight have been swimming, biking, and running for 17 hours. Can you even fathom that? Honestly. Stop and think about it for a moment...that is three times longer than most people sleep at night. There is so much determination, willpower and spirit in these peoples hearts and minds that they continue moving forward even though their bodies are clearly shutting down and trying to stop them. 17 hours. Strangers stand along the sidelines, pounding their fists, cheering, screaming, singing, dancing, doing anything and everything in their power to help a person whom they have never met make it that final treacherous mile.

When my own body felt like it was going to give out from under me yesterday, as difficult as it was (and it was not pretty) I found the presence of mind and ability to push myself a little harder, knowing that any pain I was feeling would pass and because there is truth and conviction in this:

If marines who have lost their legs can race 26.2 miles with their arms in a wheelchair..

If the 70-year-old man limping in a knee brace can cross the finish with arms pumping in the air..

If people who have lost the ones they love to war and violence can race in memory of them..

If people who have beaten cancer can turn around and finish a 26.2 mile race or an Ironman...

then I can undoubtedly do it too.

I am amazing. I can do anything. I will be positive. My individuality is beautiful. I will succeed. I can do ANYTHING I set my mind to. 

I invite you to challenge yourself today, this week, this month, this year. Step outside of your comfort zone and approach the unknown or something you are fearful of. It will help you grow. It will help you love. It will help you become who you are really meant to be. In a time when news shows us primarily corruption, political attacks, violence, war, death, and destruction-it might even restore some of your faith in humanity.

There is good, love, and wonder everywhere. Look around. Open your eyes to it. Begin small. Start with yourself. Then magnify it outward.

Life's little treats- open up to them

Shall we begin with a little treat?

Click it, you know you want to. Close your eyes, tap your foot, sway side to side.

Oh my, this song. So delicious. Enjoy, and read on dear friend.

Yesterday (October 20, 2013...in the middle of FALL) I went for a run barefoot on the beach with wonderful company in only a sports bra and shorts. I played in the ocean at the end of October and didn't need a wetsuit. I soaked up some sweet Vitamin D, played frisbee and corn-hole with family, and I held the hand and looked into the eyes of the one I love. This tasty menu is a recipe for HAPPINESS. Nature, smiles, laughter, family, yoga, exercise, music (..and so on) can all access the vulnerability we may be feeling and help us build trust and movement towards opening ourselves up to a love we never even knew existed.

I feel refreshed and renewed with a clear mind and open heart. It's almost like there is an EASY button for my mind, body, and soul..except instead of office supplies appearing out of thin air I have a renewed clarity of mind to get work done more efficiently. I feel my sense of determination strengthened to continue challenging myself. I feel ready to charge ahead into the unknown.  All of this after three short days of sunshine and family.

I also feel an overwhelming desire to help others experience and accept the all encompassing love that I have found myself in at this stage of my life. Because you are worth it. You are worth all the love in the world.

What helps you feel centered, loved, supported?

Go do that right now (or this weekend). Don't have time? That's not an excuse, make time. How can you expect yourself to keep going if you don't let yourself do something you truly love every now and again. Slow down, close your eyes, and take a deep restorative breath.

I'm sure you have experienced at some point in your life music speaking to you at a deeper level than you anticipated. This song is almost like a miniature guided meditation for me and I invite you to follow along with it in that way. Allow yourself to feel any emotions that it may bring up if that is the case. When you close your eyes, let your mind paint pictures and take you to a brighter, simpler place.

 Follow the sun, the direction of the birds, the direction of love. Breathe in the air. Set your intentions. Dream with care. 

Particularly this line: 

Take a stroll to the nearest waters edge and remember your place. Many moons have risen and fallen here, long before you came. Oh my goodness what power those words hold. This is a gentle reminder that we are such small creatures in an extremely large framework. Whatever turmoil, stress or weight you are carrying with you..that too shall pass. Do not dwell on it. Acknowledge it then let it go. Infinite amounts of love can fill the space that you are wasting with negative thoughts or emotions. 

So..which way is the wind blowing? What does your heart say?

'If we only show up when things are easy, we are not showing up fully'

Let's broach the topic of:

When things don't go your way

(in other words)

When something happens that forces you to pay closer attention, be present, or show up more fully

We are creatures of habit. Face it, you probably have the same routine every day from when you wake up in the morning to when you release the weight of your body into your bed at the end of the evening. Of course there will be a few subtle variations here and there. I'm sure it looks something like..get up, walk the dog, feed the dog, brush your teeth, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast or grab something for the road, then drive the exact same route to work or class as we do every other day..you get the point. 

Stop to think about this for a moment. 

It is easy to get caught up in the blur that becomes our daily life. Conditioned routines and behaviors mean less mental stimulation and we are taken to this place where 'time flies', with an overload of information and tasks and it is very difficult to be fully present. Consider this: If you took a different series of streets to work each day, you may not be as comfortable texting while you're driving. Some of the daily familiarity with timing of stoplights and traffic is removed. You are forced to pay closer attention to what is going on and maybe think twice before pulling out your phone.

It is in these moments of surprise, change, difference--when things don't go your way--there is endless potential for the most beautiful space for presence of mind. Opening yourself up to something new can have a profound impact on your day, week, or even life.

Just a few days ago it was raining. I generally ride my bike to class so naturally I was annoyed when I looked out the window. I was not particularly interested in being pelted in the face by raindrops then sitting through class in soaking wet pants and frizzy hair. I quickly realized I had plenty of time to make it to class and decided to walk instead. Generally speaking, a straight week of rain will has an intensely negative impact on my mood (extended periods of cloudy darkness and no sunshine to give me that sweet, sweet Vitamin D leads to a rather sad and emotional state. This is also why I have always had an aversion to Winter) Nope, not this time. I was so blissfully happy walking in the rain you would have thought that sunbeams were showering me with warmth. I wanted to hug every person I walked by. 

But what was different? It was still cloudy, I hadn't seen the sun in at least a week, and surely hadn't been getting nearly enough sleep while fighting off a cold.

Instead of being miserable and doing what I always did, I let myself slow down, leave a little earlier, and make space for the beauty and renewal that rain brings on a crisp fall day. The gentle and soothing sound of raindrops hitting leaves and the top of my umbrella, the splash each puddle made as I walked directly through it, following my impulse to stop at a favorite coffee shop for lemongrass tea..it all made me feel centered, at peace, and wholeheartedly present to all of my surroundings and how I felt in each moment. The thirty minute walk from my apartment changed my perspective of the day completely. Dreariness and annoyance with the circumstances took a running leap towards appreciation and gratitude.

So next time something (perhaps unexpected) 'happens'..whether it rains , you forget your computer..and therefore have to take handwritten notes instead of typing, a road is closed on your regular route somewhere, or it starts to rain after a perfectly sunny day when you decided to spend the money to get your car washed..

Set your initial reaction aside momentarily and open up some space inside. 

You may find that there is something eye opening or wonderful on the other side.

Breathe. Be present. Love with your whole heart.

(in other words...and pardon the profanity)

Listen to your body, or it will force you to

It sounds so simple and yet many people don't even think twice about it. That includes myself..as I sit here with a virus that is forcing me to 'take it easy', my fiance is trying to convince me not to run the half marathon I already registered and paid for tomorrow. Excuse me but no way in hell will I waste the $75 I paid for a bib, t-shirt and excuse to go visit my beautiful sister in Charlotte, NC. 

It took me two weeks of feeling relatively awful before I actually even went to the doctor to make sure nothing was seriously wrong. Exhausted with a sore throat and swollen lymph nodes the most energy I exerted all day today was leaving the house for lunch. 

As I have begun teaching, I have realized that I have experienced few things more fulfilling than guided a group of people through their practice. I leave the studio after teaching a class with a greater yoga high than I have ever felt from my own personal practice. I feel so light, overflowing with love and gratitude that I may actually levitate. While the experience has been life changing and exhilarating, it has also challenged me and led me to many eye opening conclusions about myself. 

Fact: While it is important to challenge yourself, it is more important to surround yourself with love and support. If someone is subtracting from the confidence you have in yourself, whether that be the direction in which you have chosen to take your life or a general lack of support-you do not need to be around them. If they truly love you they will believe in your dreams. Listen to your heart. 'Set your life on fire' then allow those who gravitate towards support in the direction of your dreams to be the ones you hold most dear.

Let yourself slow down. Meditate on this: Your body sends you subtle messages all the time. You know what is best for yourself but people rarely let go of their ego long enough to suppress the little voice inside that guides us. Your knee hurts? Maybe you shouldn't go for that 10 mile run today. Have a headache? Perhaps you shouldn't stare at your computer screen for three hours tonight. Exhausted because you have only slept four hours per night the last week? Turn off the television, phone, computer and other stimulating devices, read a book instead and let yourself rest. Are you guilty of this? Because I certainly am. What with the changing season, midterms at school, training for running races, and whatever else it is going on in life it is easy to miss the subtle signs. They get pushed aside until BAM, you are sick for two weeks, and illness or injury occur. Your body says, 'not going to listen to me? Fine! Take THAT!' 

I like to think that I have gotten better at listening to my body. When I feel like going for a run, I do. If my feet hurt, I put down my mat and have 60-90 minutes of yoga. If the thought of doing either of these things stresses me out at all, I go for a long walk. Due in large part to swimming my entire life I feel that I grew up with much more body awareness than the average person (thanks mom and dad). But I also have highly competitive siblings from whom I learned that you cannot reach your athletic goals unless you push yourself past your comfort zone (thanks Danny and Jackie). 

There is a happy medium here folks. Care for yourself because nobody else will. Take time to reconnect with your body or it will force you to. Love yourself, or you'll end up like me..two weeks into a virus still feeling tired with a sore throat sitting inside all day because my body said 'enough is enough'. 

I hear you body..message received.

Will I be running that half marathon tomorrow you ask..? We'll see how I feel in the morning ;)

What helps you feel grounded?

MindBodyGreen: signs-your-grounding-chakra-is-out-of-whack-what-to-do-about-it

This got me thinking..

Funny! Yoga teachers (myself included) use visualizations referencing trees when trying to help students become more grounded in class. Being grounded is remarkably important in your life and on your mat and can be extremely difficult to access at times. Have you ever been well into a yoga practice and get to a balancing sequence to find that you cannot for the life of you stay balanced (cue frustration, cursing under your breath, rolling eyes, looking at others)?

The arch nemesis of your first chakra is FEAR, so it makes sense that anxiety, stress, restlessness, worry, and exhaustion are directly associated with a faulty first chakra. It's easy once we taste that fear to get stuck in the vicious cycle that can take you to emotional, inconsistent and unreliable places. 

Fun facts about the first chakra (courtesy of Shannon Harty):

(the colors of the chakras are the same as those of the rainbow from bottom to top!) so...

Color: Red

Sense: Smell

Location: Base of the Spine

Element: Earth

Animal: Elephant

Physical dysfunctions associated with the first chakra:

Chronic back pain

Sciatica

Varicose veins

Cancer

Depression

Immune related disorders

The first chakra is the energy center where you find connection to the Earth, things greater than yourself, friends, family, and where your sense of home is. If you are experiencing some kind of turmoil, or your world has been turned upside down, it's quite possible that will translate into your yoga practice and largely the way you relate to others. Finding your connection with family and the unit of support physically and emotionally can help you open yourself up to a world of possibilities you didn't know existed. It is much easier to balance on one leg, your big toes, or the top of your head if you are wholeheartedly confident that you are loved, supported, and connected to the Earth and your friends and family.

I've been in a place where I felt I was missing my 'tribe'. I made some not so advisable decisions and in turn had very little communication with my family for many months. I literally did not speak to the people who love me most in this world for months. I wondered when I practiced yoga during this time if I was ever going to find stability in my balancing postures. I swayed at the very thought of closing my eyes in Tadasana, as if the ground would literally drop from beneath me if I let my guard down for a single moment. I had constant back pain, migraines, sleepless nights, bouts of depression, and very upsetting thoughts about myself (I was a hot mess). My father was diagnosed with cancer during that time and that shook the ground beneath my feet even further. Every bone in my body told me 'enough' and I forced myself to take a step. ONE step is all it takes to start to find lightness and connection again. I am not a tree..I moved, I changed where I was in my life and through those changes I began to heal and find what I was missing. 

Experiencing any of these physical dysfunctions? What to do, what to do..?

Go for a walk..or run..a skip..go to a park..just go outside. Leave your phone in your house while you're at it. Let yourself disconnect from whatever text you are waiting to receive, phone call you feel you need to make, or email you need to check. There is unending beauty surrounding you at every turn. Just allow yourself to acknowledge that beauty and let it surround your mind, body, and soul. Breathe it in. Breathe it all in. Breathe in all of the fresh air and new energy that you possibly can. Exhale out the negative thoughts, frustration, and worry. Nature, love, and gratitude can be humbling, and it can bring you back from very dark places. Opening yourself to these things can help you feel grounded and supported. Think very hard, find at least one thing that makes you feel calm, supported, truly loved and build from there.

And/Or...

I challenge you someday soon to do a short yoga practice (maybe a few sun salutations to connect movement with breath and warm up your body..and throw a few balancing postures in there). Then stop. Take a break..and roll the arches of your feet out on a tennis ball. Then use your hands, press into all corners of your feet with your thumbs and really give your feet a little love. Return to your mat and do the same practice again and focus in on the changes. You will FEEL the difference physically, but you can find that same connection without the physical stimulation. Standing tall and proud in Tadasana close your eyes. Imagine you are a tree and roots are growing from your feet deep into the Earth.  Growing, extending, spreading out these roots build in strength and size until you are firmly planted in the ground. You are one with nature. One with the world around you.

Family, tribe, clan, kinship..whatever you want to call it you need it and it is the most important thing in your life. Cherish your friends and family because everything else is built upon that and nothing matters without it. The chakras begin at the base of the spine extending down through your legs and into your feet. Energy flow begins in your physical body with grounding. 

Studying yoga and my journey through teacher training has helped me come to terms with the struggle I had with myself. I have never felt more supported and loved in my life and that begins with the love and appreciation I have for myself and others. 

Find your stillness, security, and stability. 

You have everything you need, use it to find your greater connection.

Breathe. Love. Breathe again.

What helps you feel grounded? Go get more of it!

I have a bone to pick: teacher training- decide for yourself

7-truths-about-being-a-yoga-teacher-that-no-one-will-ever-tell-you

the-not-so-glamorous-reality-of-being-a-yoga-teacher

6-things-to-know-before-you-start-yoga-teacher-training

These are just a few of many examples of articles I have come across and read since I finished my 200-hour yoga teacher training and begun to expand my practice even further through teaching...and some articles have annoyed me enough that I felt I should write my own blog post on the matter.

While some of these points are helpful and accurate, I feel that there is a way to be informative without being discouraging of individuals who want to begin their personal journey towards growth or teaching.

Ideally, you want people to enter a teacher training with the full understanding of what it will provide and a set of intentions for what they plan to do with the knowledge they gain. The harsh reality is that many people dive into a yoga teacher training with little understanding at all of what they will get out of it and what they will do after. If this applies to you, don't compare yourself to others just take a step back and do a little research first:

So instead of telling you all about why you might potentially regret making the decision to invest in a yoga teacher training..

I humbly invite you to ask yourself a few questions:

What do you think you will learn? Where does your primary interest in yoga and your personal practice lie? Is there a style of yoga you prefer? Do you want to focus on that style in your teacher training or do you want to expand your horizons? Are you ready to be challenged emotionally, spiritually, and physically? What is going on in your life right now? Are you are looking for emphasis on a particular topic? Be that alignment, spirituality, assisting, etc.. Are you looking for an extended program spread out over many months, or are you interested in a multiple week immersion/retreat? How do you want to use what you learn? Is the process to expand your personal practice or do you want to influence others? What is your budget? Are you willing to invest (a hefty sum of) money into something that may not immediately pay itself off?

I could go on..but you get the point. I've always been an advocate of diving in, making impulsive decisions, and following your heart, but some decisions deserve a little more thought.

Once you answer questions like these (and then some) I feel that it is easier to set realistic expectations and goals for yourself and the teacher training you choose to attend (within the parameters of what your definition of realistic is). Chase your dreams, but disappointment may show up now and then..because nothing is perfect. Yoga helps you meet challenges head on with a clear mind, and obviously there will be upsides and downsides to any decision we make. As with any other potentially life-changing endeavor, I propose you to truly and thoroughly put some thought into it first. You are probably seeking something, and a yoga teacher training can provide something beautiful to fill that space if you approach it in the right way.

My experience in 200-hour teacher training changed my life. I waited for the right opportunity to participate knowing what I could afford, what I had time for, and what I wanted out of it. Shannon Harty of GetDownDog Yoga is a fountain of knowledge and experience. I am so grateful to have built my understanding and appreciation for yoga in such a loving and supportive environment that fostered community and appreciation for myself and others. I am fortunate that Body Balance has welcomed me with open arms as a new teacher, and I appreciate every single beautiful soul that shows up to practice with me. With a solid base, I'm more than ready to continue my education with a 500-hour training. Not knowing what the future holds, I'm confident I can handle whatever may come. I am grounded and strong and live through love.

We are all on our own journey, so find your authenticity and a true connection to yourself. Once you find that, you can determine positive and negative consequences on your own.

 Don't let anyone put out your flame.

Breathe. Connect. Love with your whole heart.

'Living in the moment- Living my life- Easy and breezy-With peace in my mind..'

'..With peace in my heart, with peace in my soul..'

So yesterday, the first day October (and my wedding month a year from Friday!), I found myself counting the number of days until I pack up my life and finally move into the same state and home as the person I am over-the-moon through the stars and out of this world in love with.

I spend my Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings telling people to let go of their responsibilities, expectations, worries, and stress. I try to coax you away from a place where you are thinking about what you need to do after class whether that be in an hour, day, week, month, or even year. It doesn't matter when, just clear your mind. Get to a place where when you walk out of the room you feel no weight and can take the deepest breaths possible to fill your body. I try to teach you to create space by dropping these heavy burdens opening yourself to the beauty of the present moment. Experience your body and mind exactly where it is in this moment and fill the space you are creating with acknowledgment, love, and gratitude for whatever you are feeling. 

Ugh. Bad Carolyn, bad.

I had to stop myself. I was literally counting the days until I move from where I currently reside physically, intellectually, emotionally, etc.. Practice what you preach, right? Am I stopping myself from being fully present by doing this? 

My answer to myself: NOPE

I feel that I can set aside these feelings and excitement for what the future holds by going for a run in one of the most beautiful places I have ever lived. I can practice yoga in my room with the windows open and no responsibilities but my own well-being. I can practice yoga at Body Balance surrounded by a strong community of like minded individuals with a common purpose. William and Mary holds so many wonderful feelings and I have a strong sense of gratitude for everything the College of William and Mary, my brilliant professors, and exceptional peers has taught me. But why do I continue to escape the present to muse on what the near future will be like? My heart is speaking loudly and telling me that I am ready for the next chapter in my life. So I find comfort in the fact that I am at peace with where I am in this present moment in my life while still allowing myself enthusiasm for what is to come.

We are, after all, merely humans. And sometimes our hearts speak so loudly that we must just go with the flow.

(75 days by the way..)

And I will enjoy every last one, feeding my soul with all long walks soaking in the beauty that fall and the tiny town of Williamsburg has to offer.

Breathe.

Live in the moment, but don't fight whatever it is your heart is telling you.

Surround yourself with love and support.

Love yourself. 

Love others.