Mornings 'yet to be'employed

Mornings, glorious mornings. 

Don't get me wrong, I do not proclaim that I am a morning person (many sources can confirm) - I must assert however, that I adore the quiet and stillness that often accompanies the start of the day - particularly on the weekends, or at the beach, or when you are yet to be employed (I am not an unemployed graduate, but rather a yet to be employed post grad and the distinction is rather important) - I have come to cherish the silence and calm no matter how brief, and these days brevity is determined by my desire.

 Few things make a girl more cheerful than waking up to the warmth of home and a heavenly embrace, sunbeams streaming through the window, birds serenading me while Bon Iver purrs throughout the house, hot coffee in hand, dog at my feet - generally taking my sweet time to soak it all in - before going about my day. No not each morning begins this way, but every second of this sequence is magical and glorious and uplifting and provides a clarity of mind akin to that of a deep meditation, a long cry, or watching the sunrise or sunset paint the sky in silence. How could anyone have anything less than a marvelous day when it begins in such a manner. 

No, I may not have a job yet (note that I have put intention to be hired out into the universe, and I have decided quite simply to reject negativity). But while I wait for someone to inevitably realize upon reading my resume that I'm just what they are looking for - I welcome you, mornings, with open arms - a loving embrace of gratitude. I appreciate you. I honor your sunbeams and your winged soloists and choirs. I salute you in whatever form you present yourself to me each day. You begin again and again, sun rising without fail - even through rain - how graceful. Thank you for the tranquility you have supplied me of late. The light in me shines more brightly because of your daybreak. 

     

I'm thinking about you. Yes you. I'm sending you love. I'm wishing YOU love, happiness and peace of mind. You are bright and beautiful and you deserve all of the good. All of it. 

The sunrise this morning, it was just for you. 
Let that energy and lightness of a fresh start - the brand new day - fill you, and let sunbeams radiate through your eyes and smile.
Sending love wherever needed.

This Hasn't Happened in a While

But seriously. And what will that be?

In the midst of rapid change - graduation from William and Mary (there was a time I thought this might never come), a move to North Carolina, free time for lack of employment or schoolwork, sending out my resume, leaving the first place that opened its arms to me as a new yoga teacher. It seems as though I have had infinite amounts of free time and yet, why does it feel like I haven't processed any of it? Activities I enjoy (writing, etc.) have taken a backseat to - what exactly? Time to reign it in.

For the last seven years of my life, I have been a student. Much has happened, but generally speaking my status as a student has been a constant with a brief interlude. Maybe it took me so long to figure out how to do it right, finishing my final semester with almost straight A's (huzzah!). While I'm thrilled to be finished, it feels terribly unfair that I finally figured it out and now it is just over. There is so much good in the world and in my life, and yet I suddenly can't help but feel that I am floundering. Two such strong and contrasting emotions - how do you find peace when change, fear, confidence, uncertainty, joy, sadness, apprehension, faith..are all happening at once. 

They are all fighting for the win but they just keep smacking into one another causing chaos and confusion.

What helps you adapt? Where do you turn when there is so much uncertainty? They say an idle mind is the devil's workshop. In the past this has proven true -with no responsibility it is terribly effortless to get sucked into a favorite television show and sit around all day, let your yoga practice go by the wayside, let fear get in the way of putting yourself out there - it becomes so natural to get caught in a vicious cycle of laziness and lack of effort or activity.

So you fill your time. You must not allow yourself to sit and do nothing. You must take a step towards what is next - whatever that may be? Any step at all.

You thank your lucky stars for the other constants that remain. 

Family.

Love.

Good health.

Food to put on the table.

A warm bed to sleep in.

A roof over your head.

Love (worth mentioning twice).

Amidst internal chaos, struggle to find where you should go next, what you should do, what path to take - these are consistent and hold true - and though it is easy to forget you must remind yourself how fortunate you are to have them.

 Someone recently asked me - If money was of no concern? What would you do? 

Could it be that simple? Can it really be that simple? 

But really - What do you think?

Can two aspects of ones personality - love of comforts, shopping, pretty things (that money is needed for) and love of yoga, simplicity, local businesses - exist and come to peace with one another? 

What if guilt surfaces when one or the other starts to take the lead?

So today I take time to remind myself and you, my dear friend - slow down and take a deep breath. 

Come what may - love it. 

Try to accept it with love and a smile - it could be worse. 

You are entirely up to you - don't let a little chaos and confusion get in the way of that.

Sending love wherever needed.